Why Your Response to “I’m Bored” Doesn’t Have to Be a List of Fun Activities

“I’m bored” “I don’t know what to do.” “What can I do, Mama?” The sounds of summer for some, the sounds of just about every day all year round for others. Kids get bored.

Does it stress you out?

This may not be a popular opinion, but you don’t have to create a boredom plan for every moment of your child’s life. Or maybe this opinion would be more popular if it were more acceptable to follow this advice. Relax, don’t let a bored child get to you. It’s not the end of the world. In fact, it may be the beginning of something good!

Do you ever feel like you need to entertain your children every moment of the day, all day? Perhaps it’s due to an overdose on Pinterest scrolling or the fact that a lot of people you know have enrolled their children in more activities than you can count on one hand. Whatever it is, there is definitely pressure to keep your kids busy with the right activities to help them in their development. Maybe you’re scared that if you DON’T keep your kids busy, you’re not providing them with what they need to succeed.

Rest assured that this is certainly not the case. You can actually help your child by allowing a bit of boredom in their life. Why? There’s a long list of benefits to letting your child figure out how to use their time on their own. What are some of them?

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Benefits of Boredom

If your child is allowed to be bored at times, it’s likely they’ll develop the following skills:

Independence – Your child will independently find a solution, meaning that they feel more in charge of themselves. Rather than being dependent (the opposite of independent) on an adult to direct them, children find something to do.
Creativity – When your child is bored, they are more likely to work hard to come up with something interesting to entertain themself. If you’re riding in the car or in a waiting room, your child might begin imagining a story in their head, searching for certain kinds of cars out the window or similar. However, if your child watches a video or plays a game on your phone instead, this opportunity is lost.
Problem-solving skills – The problem? Boredom. The solution? It could be anything really. That’s the beauty of being bored. Your child has the chance to work through this real-life problem and explore their possible responses and reactions. Sometimes your child might whine or get angry. Sometimes they might wander around the house or wherever you are to seek ideas for what to do. You can help your child cultivate healthy coping mechanisms for boredom. More on these later.
Boosts self-motivation – Ever used an exciting opening to get your child to try a new activity? You might use an enthusiastic tone of voice, or explain what the benefits of the activity will be. When your child is bored and allowed to struggle through it until they pick an activity on their own, they have to be their own motivator. With no outside voice telling them how much fun it will be to build a Lego replica of the empire state building, they’ll have to discover the motivation to undertake such an activity on their own.

If you’re curious to learn what psychologists are saying about the importance of children experiencing boredom, check out this article.

What did Montessori say?

Montessori believed that children needed to build skills to become independent. That’s one of the reasons why she emphasized practical life so strongly, especially for the youngest students. In addition, in any Montessori classroom, children are in charge of picking meaningful activities to engage in. Although guidance is provided from teachers, children are largely responsible for picking their own work.

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Guaranteed No Tears At Mealtime

“Ok hunny, I’ll pop some chicken nuggets in the toaster for you,” said none of our great-grandparents ever.

Don’t you think some of the troubles little ones have with eating and mealtime are really due to society’s recent trend towards using processed foods? The convenience of popping some chicken nuggets in the microwave or grabbing some crackers for the toddler is a relatively new reality. And no parent wants to see their child go hungry, so it’s no wonder our children demand an alternative to lentil stew. We give in because we can. There are easy alternatives calling from the kitchen “hellooooo…anyone want some crackers?”

But, by giving in and allowing these alternatives, we’re creating picky eaters that are on a path towards leading an unhealthy lifestyle.

So, how, you ask, do you avoid the tears at mealtime? How do you navigate the refusal to try a bite of green beans?

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Yikes! I would have spent how much on jam???

So many mundane expenses don’t even enter onto our radar until we add them up and think about them in terms of monthly or yearly expenses. Like so many who write about dropping a coffee habit and saving big bucks, I’ve come to that realization about many normal purchases. For instance, jam.

I grew up in a home where my parents (not just mom!) made preserves. Peaches, applesauce, sometimes tomato juice and pickles were staples that got canned each year. Sweet corn was gleaned, cooked and frozen. And of course freezer jam was made each year in June.

I hadn’t quite figured out how to manage preserves just yet in my life here in Guatemala. Part of it was because I was managing to survive on an itty bitty teeny weeny refrigerator that was literally a cube of about 2.5 ft squared. Don’t ask me how I survived on that for 7 years, we just made do.

Space to Freeze

Now I have a brand spanking new (HUGE) refrigerator, complete with a real freezer. The first thing my husband said was that it’s too big. Oh but I had plans for freezing. He has since been proven wrong, very wrong. I’ve frozen pureed squash, chicken and meat and made amazing refrigerator pickles. Additionally, I’ve made freezer jam.

My little peanut LOVES to eat strawberry jam. When he won’t eat anything else, he’ll say “Mama, can I have bread with jelly please?” If I would let him, I’m sure he would eat it for every meal.

It’s So Expensive!

But, I’ll be honest. The jelly and jam selection here is either disgusting or very expensive. At about $3 a jar for the good stuff, that I’d probably go through in about a week or week and a half, that’s $150 a year in jam. Yikes! However, by making it myself, I bring that number down to about $3 a month, or $36 a year. And, I have the added assurance of knowing what I put in my jam. Strawberries, jell-o and sugar. That’s it. Maybe one of these days I’ll get around to posting how I make it.

Why Is the First Instinct to Buy?

My point is, isn’t it ridiculous how we’ve been trained to buy even the simplest of products? Making jelly takes me about 15 minutes. It’s as complicated as rinsing the berries, stemming them, blending them, popping in a pot with dissolved jello, adding sugar and pouring it into a few plastic tubs. It’s easy peasy. I’m also making my own apple cider vinegar and have started making my own yogurt. Both of these are a fraction of the cost when home-made vs. store bought. And they’re better (and easy – otherwise I PROMISE I wouldn’t do it).

Each week I also usually bake bread, cookies, granola bars or muffins. The baked goods are a great treat and are healthier and tastier than other options available for purchase. I usually bake these as a side-note…I want to turn on the oven for a dinner and can’t bear the thought of all of that oven space going to waste. So, I whip up something quick and get the most out of my oven heat.

Now, we’re able to enjoy more, for less. Sounds like the name of the cookbook in my kitchen “More with Less”. But it’s true! I feel like I’m at the beginning of discovering so many more things to make and do on my own.

What’s your number one money-saver as a result of doing it yourself?